Loading...I’m not sure who first gave him this nickname, but “Doubting Thomas” stuck. I don’t think it’s very fair – After all, he’s not the only disciple or follower who asked questions! I’m pretty sure we all have – not to mention Peter and the gang.
As today’s Gospel story begins,we pick up the story of Jesus’ followers on the very same day that Mary, Simon Peter, and the beloved disciple all went to the tomb in the garden and saw the empty tomb, the linen wrappings, and – in Mary’s case – Jesus himself (NOT the gardener).
That evening, as the disciples gathered together
(good, at least they’re sticking together)
in an upstairs room behind locked doors because they were afraid
(uh-oh. Not so good. Locked doors? Fear? And, HOW many times did Jesus tell them not to be afraid, INCLUDING the times he just told Mary that very same morning!!).
Jesus showed up
(um – how did he get through the locked doors?)
spoke to them, showed him his hands and side, and breathed on them the Holy Spirit
(please notice the very divine act of breathing on the disciples – ruach – the same thing that God does in creation; the same thing that God did to the dry bones from the valley that came together after Ezekiel told them to).
I’m not exactly sure how the disciples felt after that
(more afraid? Less? Empowered and excited?)
but the next week, there they were again in an upstairs room.
This time Thomas was with them.
(where was he last week? Something as prosaic as going to get groceries? Or, something more theological – like he wasn’t afraid, so didn’t go up to the locked room? Or, he was MORE afraid, so stayed away completely?)
We just don’t know.
But, this week he’s with them and when them tell him about Jesus’ visit,
he responds: unless I see the nail holes in his hands and touch his side, I will not believe.
This is a guy who knows what he needs.
This is a guy who wants proof. A bit of a scientist, this guy.
But, wait.
There’s more going on here.
Thomas is not just the guy who has to have proof that he can touch.
Thomas is not just the disciple who gets the bum rap for “doubting” –
as though asking questions is somehow bad, or makes him “less than”.
When Thomas sees Jesus and hears him speak to him –
including the offer to touch his hands and side –
Thomas makes a profound and climatic declaration:
“My Lord and my God!”
He doesn’t make this profession of faith because he sees Jesus standing in front of him.
Thomas doesn’t proclaim faith and belief because Jesus is resurrected.
Thomas sees before him the rabbi, master, and friend
who was crucified and who still bears the marks of suffering on his body.
The act of resurrection did NOT remove the nail holes, slash in his side, and other marks of torture and death.
Jesus, the suffering Christ, the wounded healer,
God who bears the pain of death,
STILL knows what it is to weep and mourn.
Maybe Thomas’ demand to see the marks of the pain Jesus experienced was not a question of doubt at work,
but the need to know that – indeed –
God, incarnate in Jesus the Messiah, knows human reality.
The Wounded Christ – the incarnate God who has wounds.
THIS is the one about whom Thomas believes and trusts – My Lord and my God!
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For all of my tactics to avoid failure, I still do.
I’d like to think that I can work a situation so that all will go “right” and there will be no mistakes – perfectionism, if you will.
Maybe you’re like me in that way.
But, really, truly, how often does that REALLY happen?
No mistakes?!?
Everything goes exactly as you planned it?!?
I think the moment when I finally GOT it (that perfectionism was a waste of time) was the evening I had invited folks I’d been getting to know – a couple about my age, fairly new to town (small town), interested in the same kinds of things that I was, and who cooked. He was the chef of the new, excellent, restaurant that they had recently opened in town. So, I was going to impress them – because I love to cook also and had toyed with the idea of going to culinary school and also becoming a chef.
HA! You know, with this sort of set up, that things didn’t go as planned.
Ambitious meal: stuffed roast. Butterfly it, fill it with flavorful things, roll it up, sear it, then cook. Except, I forgot to allow for enough time for the size of the hunk of meat I was cooking. Raw in the middle. And, not just “rare”.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Making mistakes – the embarrassing ones like raw meat; those with greater impact, like missing a deadline at work so your client doesn’t get what’s needed; or the more devastating ones like driving while under the influence of whatever (alcohol, your smartphone, flooded emotions) and causing some sort of accident – are going to happen.
For all of our desire and push to be “perfect”, we are not.
We are broken.
We are wounded.
We drop the ball and fail.
But, that does not make us worthless or unlovable or throw-away!
And our imperfection does not somehow convince God that we’re not worth God’s love or forgiveness or notice.
Thomas, dear thoughtful questioning Thomas,
had it right.
We need to know that Jesus, God in human form,
crucified, died, and risen,
the breath of life and hope in the world,
knows the fullness of woundedness.
Jesus’ crucifixion and death was not something that could be wiped away in three days.
The marks of suffering and death are still with him.
The scars of pain are there.
God knows the depth of loss and grief;
and still, or better yet, also gives hope and life.
The promise made long ago to the people of God –
the promise made to you in your baptism and renewed every day –
the promise that you hear declared to you in word and song,
and that you taste at the feast table—
is the promise of life out of death, of hope despite despair, of faith and trust shaped by and hammered out by doubts and questions.
“Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! By his great mercy he has given us a new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, and into an inheritance that is imperishable, undefiled, and unfading, kept in heaven for you, who are being protected by the power of God through faith for a salvation ready to be revealed in the last time. In this you rejoice, even if now for a little while you have had to suffer various trials, so that the genuineness of your faith—being more precious than gold that, though perishable, is tested by fire—may be found to result in praise and glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed. Although you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and rejoice with an indescribable and glorious joy, for you are receiving the outcome of your faith, the salvation of your souls.”
Amen
